Saturday, October 27, 2007

i always put myself in destructive situations

i do this to myself . it's inevitable that i will fail, and it's all becuase i set myself up for it . the doctor promised that these pills would give me more energy, but my fingers are lifelessly moving as i type this blog entry . i really don't think there is anything that can help me . it's so awkward, but i feel like i need something to be sad about . i see all these people around me, being hurt by others, but i envy them, because at least they have someone in their lives that can hurt them . it sounds stupid, and it probably only makes sense in my mind . i'm so anxious right now, and i don't know why . ugh . my mind is racing with thoughts of what used to be, i want to go back in time so i can reverse all the irreversible things that i have done . but i can't . no use in dwelling in the past .

what doesn't kill me, breaks me down every day .

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