my depth is more than you can handle

i have more secrets than i could ever burden anyone with . there is no part of me that is secure and sure . i am always second guessing everything, and my secrets are what make me so screwed up . i can't hold them in but i could not possibly let them out . i am in a situation where i can't possibly win, and my life is a constant lose-lose situation . there is no way for me to ever be truly happy, and i live with a substitue for happiness day by day . i wish i could find some sort of permanent source of happiness . so far, i've been unsuccessful .